Springfield, MO, is not going to work for us. It’s too small, we don’t know anyone here, and it looks to be in transition, though it’s unclear which direction that transition is headed.

Retirement Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

The downtown area is oddly heavy on galleries but not restaurants. We tried the Vandervort Hotel and found the service spotty with visible bickering. I don’t think we’ve ever been offered a room in the basement without windows anywhere else.

Vandervort Hotel, Springfield, MO

★★★☆☆

★★★★☆ for Springfield, MO

We stayed at the Vandervort Hotel, “steps from the city’s most captivating attractions.” We walked the blocks around the Vort with our Australian Shepherd, Rho, on the lookout for captivating but returned to the hotel disappointed.

The single valet made drop-off slow, but he was a nice guy. He checked up on us later in the restaurant. Great service there.

The place is not otherwise welcoming. We arrived at 4 p.m., check-in time, and were offered rooms in the basement.

They don’t have windows.” the receptionist notes.

Isn’t this a fire hazard?

“Or you can wait for other rooms to be cleaned.”

So why aren’t two windowed rooms clean at 4 p.m ? Any time I’m in bed at 10 a.m., knocking and “housekeeping ♫” wake e. I guess the rooms are spotless.

The Vantage Bar

But we could wait for a room with windows in the rooftop terrace bar, Vantage, so we headed up there.

We sat down in seats in the sha e. A sign said Reserved 5 pm to close, but we didn’t plan on staying until . After a 10-minute wait, a waitress arrived and, rather than asking us for an order, told us the seats were reserv d. We left because our rooms were ready, and it wasn’t worth the argume t. We got our keys back at check- n. Strangely, the receptionist scoffed at Valet for suggesting she take our bags to the ro m. The first receptionist brought our bags up.

Rooms

Dimmed lighting in hallways decorated with black-and-white images of farm implements led to our decently sized two roo s. The decor is on the bleak side of industrial, and an empty open shelf unit under the TV seemed an odd choi e. Shoe storage?

The Order Restaurant

We ate at The Order, the restaurant downstairs, starting with an Aperol Sprintz and a be r. Cole ordered a Wassabi consisting of tequila, Baijiu (a clear Chinese liqueur made from sorghum), lime, cilantro, and furikake.

“Tastes like a wasabi Kit Kat,” he announc d. Sweet at first, then bitter.

Brad’s Patchwork Pork pork loin was overdone, so he had to eat it with the pork bel y. Cole and I agreed that we don’t want to know which part of an animal we are eating, especially if it is a cheek, tongue, or, in this case, a bel y. Cole’s striped bass was heavy on peas and pea sau e. My 14- z. dry-aged strip and the waiter were both excellent.

Vandervort Hotel Exit

Leaving on Sunday morning, there was, again, a single valet, a line, and a pissed-off middle-aged couple impatient to get their c r. The guy was literally so mad he could spit and d d. His wife sat down on the hot sidewalk in her white ski t. They need more valets and SOME bellhops.

Gailey’s Breakfast

★★★★★

The line outside said Gailey’s Breakfast was worth the 45-minute wait. With fast, unpretentious service, huge omelets, and killer biscuits, I would stop here the next time I drive by Springfield, MO. Springfield needs more comfortable places like this.